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    Ich hab hier dieses Script für einen Kurtzfilm geschrieben. Es ist auf englisch weil man Scripte nunmal englisch schreibt. Ich hab hier ein bisschen wo abgeschaut und wollte fragen ob wer Verbesserungsvorschläge hat . Vielen Dank und Spass beim Lesen


    GHOST HOUSE
    Written by
    Simon.
    EXT. HOUSE - DAY
    A quaint old structure - the type you'd say "has character".
    A moving truck is parked out front. The four-man moving
    company is lugging boxes and furniture into the house.
    INT. HOUSE - DAY
    Boxes decorate the inside of this new home.
    DANA, 16, wearing teenage angst and EARPHONES, comes down
    the stairs carrying a BOX. She heads into the -
    INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
    We follow Dana to see PAM, the mom, giving the movers orders
    on where to put things.
    Dana tosses a box on the floor.
    DANA
    all the angst
    (
    )
    This doesn't go in my room.
    PAM
    Dana, please be more careful. There
    could be glass in there.
    to mover
    (
    )
    That can go anywhere in the corner
    there. Thank you.
    Jim walks in from the other room with a VHS CAMERA over his
    shoulder.
    CAMERA POV
    We move up to Pam.
    JIM
    Hey, hot stuff.
    PAM
    hates being on
    (
    camera
    )
    This is not helpful.
    Pam puts down the box she was holding.
    (CONTINUED)
    JIM
    Of course it is. I'm documenting for
    posterity.
    PAM
    swats him away
    (
    )
    Stop it.
    END CAMERA POV
    Jim drops the camera.
    JIM
    One day you're gonna regret how many
    home movies you
    aren't
    in.
    PAM
    I'll have to live with the pain.
    She takes the camera from him.
    He stands next to her in the living room - admiring their
    new purchase.
    JIM
    What do you think?
    PAM
    I love it. I really love it.
    Jim has his arm around her shoulder.
    JIM
    It's the American dream, right here.
    In the background Dana kicks over moving boxes - because,
    angst.
    PAM
    excitement dropping
    (
    a bit
    )
    It's just...
    JIM
    Just what?
    PAM
    Why did they sell so cheap?
    JIM
    It's a buyer's market, babe.
    (CONTINUED)
    CONTINUED:
    2.
    PAM
    And the Realtor? She ran out of here
    pretty fast.
    JIM
    I'm sure it's nothing bad... I'm
    going to hang out in the basement.
    He walks off. She is unsure.
    CUT TO:
    EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
    The once quaint house is now very menacing in the moonlight.
    INT. DOWNSTAIRS - NIGHT
    We move through the house. It's quiet, save for the
    occasional creaking of old wood.
    INT. UPSTAIRS - NIGHT
    No one in sight and growing darker by the second.
    INT. DANA'S ROOM - NIGHT
    Dana rolls over in bed - trying to fall asleep in an
    unfamiliar room.
    We hear creaking - the wood settling.
    She looks to her door - then the closed closet.
    Another sound - she looks up - the air vent howls an ominous
    tone.
    She turns on the lamp next to her bed and rolls over.
    INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
    Jim is brushing his teeth.
    INT. MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
    Pam gets in bed, immediately comfortable. We follow her hand
    to the nightstand as she drops her ring and watch there...
    (CONTINUED)
    CONTINUED:
    3.
    The alarm clock right behind them turns to 1:00am. The
    numbers flicker.
    Pam's eyes are closed - she hears something that forces them
    open - in the corner, the closet door is now open - we catch
    the last inch of it moving before it comes to rest.
    She stares. Eyes wide.
    INT. DANA'S ROOM - NIGHT
    Dana is lying on her side with her eyes closed and her back
    to the closet and lamp.
    The lamp flickers - then goes dark.
    We hear a creaking behind her - her eyes shoot open, but she
    doesn't move...
    Beat.
    The sound comes again - she spins around - her closet is now
    half open.
    She tries to turn on the lamp - no luck.
    Another sound comes from the opposite side of the room - she
    spins around again - the door to the bathroom is slowly
    opening.
    Dana's eyes grow wider.
    The hinges moan as the door continues it's slow move.
    Behind Dana we can see the half-opened closet.
    Suddenly - a thin shadowed hand comes slowly out of the
    closet, followed by an ink-black body - Dana has no idea.
    INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
    Jim stops mid-brush with a wince. He takes his toothbrush
    out - there's some blood on it. He moves something around in
    his mouth, then spits.
    A tooth and some blood plop into the sink.
    Jim puts his finger in his mouth to find where it came from.
    The lights in the bathroom flicker. As they do, we see the
    subtle shape of a shadow behind Jim in the darkness.
    CONTINUED:
    4.
    INT. MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
    Pam is still locked on her open closet, she is frozen with
    fear.
    WHISPERING VOICE
    Paaaaaaaaam.
    She shoots her eyes toward the sound - at the foot of her
    bed is a SHADOW FIGURE. He's taller than he should be,
    scrawny and pure black, other than his glowing pupils.
    She screams - the blankets launch off of her - the shadow
    figure grabs her ankle and pulls her toward him.
    INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
    Jim hears the scream.
    JIM
    Pam?!
    The light flickers off fully - behind him we see a similar
    shadow figure.
    Jim sees it.
    SHADOW MAN
    all words prolonged
    (
    in a whisper
    )
    Kiiiiilll yoour faaamiilyyy.
    Jim looks at the figure. His eyes locked on it, as if in a
    trance. We move in on Jim.
    SHADOW MAN
    (cont'd)
    Kiiiiillll theeeeeeeeemmmm.
    Without emotion, Jim turns and walks out.
    CUT TO:
    MONTAGE
    A gas can is snatched up.
    Gas is thrown all over the place.
    A drawer is opened and a box of matches is collected.
    The match gets lit.
    5.
    CUT TO:
    EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
    The house is engulfed in flames.
    We see the fire raging through the reflection in Jim's eyes.
    He stares blankly.
    We cut wider to see that Jim is standing with Pam and Dana,
    all of them watching their house burn down.
    PAM
    Do you think we overreacted?
    JIM
    hell no
    (
    )
    No... (pssssh) ...No...
    Dana puts on her headphones.
    Burning. Flames. Fire.
    TITLE: HORROR MOVIES IN REAL LIFE
    Alles rund um Motion-Pictures und Motiongraphics hier: Movie Factory Homepage oder hier Movie Factory Kanal
    • 00

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