Ich hab hier dieses Script für einen Kurtzfilm geschrieben. Es ist auf englisch weil man Scripte nunmal englisch schreibt. Ich hab hier ein bisschen wo abgeschaut und wollte fragen ob wer Verbesserungsvorschläge hat . Vielen Dank und Spass beim Lesen
GHOST HOUSE
Written by
Simon.
EXT. HOUSE - DAY
A quaint old structure - the type you'd say "has character".
A moving truck is parked out front. The four-man moving
company is lugging boxes and furniture into the house.
INT. HOUSE - DAY
Boxes decorate the inside of this new home.
DANA, 16, wearing teenage angst and EARPHONES, comes down
the stairs carrying a BOX. She heads into the -
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
We follow Dana to see PAM, the mom, giving the movers orders
on where to put things.
Dana tosses a box on the floor.
DANA
all the angst
(
)
This doesn't go in my room.
PAM
Dana, please be more careful. There
could be glass in there.
to mover
(
)
That can go anywhere in the corner
there. Thank you.
Jim walks in from the other room with a VHS CAMERA over his
shoulder.
CAMERA POV
We move up to Pam.
JIM
Hey, hot stuff.
PAM
hates being on
(
camera
)
This is not helpful.
Pam puts down the box she was holding.
(CONTINUED)
JIM
Of course it is. I'm documenting for
posterity.
PAM
swats him away
(
)
Stop it.
END CAMERA POV
Jim drops the camera.
JIM
One day you're gonna regret how many
home movies you
aren't
in.
PAM
I'll have to live with the pain.
She takes the camera from him.
He stands next to her in the living room - admiring their
new purchase.
JIM
What do you think?
PAM
I love it. I really love it.
Jim has his arm around her shoulder.
JIM
It's the American dream, right here.
In the background Dana kicks over moving boxes - because,
angst.
PAM
excitement dropping
(
a bit
)
It's just...
JIM
Just what?
PAM
Why did they sell so cheap?
JIM
It's a buyer's market, babe.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
2.
PAM
And the Realtor? She ran out of here
pretty fast.
JIM
I'm sure it's nothing bad... I'm
going to hang out in the basement.
He walks off. She is unsure.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
The once quaint house is now very menacing in the moonlight.
INT. DOWNSTAIRS - NIGHT
We move through the house. It's quiet, save for the
occasional creaking of old wood.
INT. UPSTAIRS - NIGHT
No one in sight and growing darker by the second.
INT. DANA'S ROOM - NIGHT
Dana rolls over in bed - trying to fall asleep in an
unfamiliar room.
We hear creaking - the wood settling.
She looks to her door - then the closed closet.
Another sound - she looks up - the air vent howls an ominous
tone.
She turns on the lamp next to her bed and rolls over.
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
Jim is brushing his teeth.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
Pam gets in bed, immediately comfortable. We follow her hand
to the nightstand as she drops her ring and watch there...
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:
3.
The alarm clock right behind them turns to 1:00am. The
numbers flicker.
Pam's eyes are closed - she hears something that forces them
open - in the corner, the closet door is now open - we catch
the last inch of it moving before it comes to rest.
She stares. Eyes wide.
INT. DANA'S ROOM - NIGHT
Dana is lying on her side with her eyes closed and her back
to the closet and lamp.
The lamp flickers - then goes dark.
We hear a creaking behind her - her eyes shoot open, but she
doesn't move...
Beat.
The sound comes again - she spins around - her closet is now
half open.
She tries to turn on the lamp - no luck.
Another sound comes from the opposite side of the room - she
spins around again - the door to the bathroom is slowly
opening.
Dana's eyes grow wider.
The hinges moan as the door continues it's slow move.
Behind Dana we can see the half-opened closet.
Suddenly - a thin shadowed hand comes slowly out of the
closet, followed by an ink-black body - Dana has no idea.
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
Jim stops mid-brush with a wince. He takes his toothbrush
out - there's some blood on it. He moves something around in
his mouth, then spits.
A tooth and some blood plop into the sink.
Jim puts his finger in his mouth to find where it came from.
The lights in the bathroom flicker. As they do, we see the
subtle shape of a shadow behind Jim in the darkness.
CONTINUED:
4.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
Pam is still locked on her open closet, she is frozen with
fear.
WHISPERING VOICE
Paaaaaaaaam.
She shoots her eyes toward the sound - at the foot of her
bed is a SHADOW FIGURE. He's taller than he should be,
scrawny and pure black, other than his glowing pupils.
She screams - the blankets launch off of her - the shadow
figure grabs her ankle and pulls her toward him.
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
Jim hears the scream.
JIM
Pam?!
The light flickers off fully - behind him we see a similar
shadow figure.
Jim sees it.
SHADOW MAN
all words prolonged
(
in a whisper
)
Kiiiiilll yoour faaamiilyyy.
Jim looks at the figure. His eyes locked on it, as if in a
trance. We move in on Jim.
SHADOW MAN
(cont'd)
Kiiiiillll theeeeeeeeemmmm.
Without emotion, Jim turns and walks out.
CUT TO:
MONTAGE
A gas can is snatched up.
Gas is thrown all over the place.
A drawer is opened and a box of matches is collected.
The match gets lit.
5.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
The house is engulfed in flames.
We see the fire raging through the reflection in Jim's eyes.
He stares blankly.
We cut wider to see that Jim is standing with Pam and Dana,
all of them watching their house burn down.
PAM
Do you think we overreacted?
JIM
hell no
(
)
No... (pssssh) ...No...
Dana puts on her headphones.
Burning. Flames. Fire.
TITLE: HORROR MOVIES IN REAL LIFE
